Two Jesters and the past
by Bloodmina
Summary: Harley tries to go back in time to 'remove' Jokers father but ends up in paris france after the machine go's awol. Who other to meet than the king himself. Takes place after HoND two, why? because... not good at summary's. T might be M later on
1. Chapter 1

It happened in the hide out, Harley helped Joker steal a time machine. Once the time machine was in the hide out Harley performed some test. It was stable enough to travel in. The plan was to go back were there was no batman and take over, but Harley had other plans with it. She wanted a normal life with Joker, so she decided to go back to the place and time when he was a child and 'remove' his father. But she didn't know that her logic wouldn't work.

Harley was dialing in the date, place, and time that the Joker said that he was a child and stepped into the capsule with her goody bag draped around her shoulder. Pushing the button the door to the capsule closed, Harley took a deep breath and closed her eye's. She was finally going to kill for love, hopefully for her it works.

Before she knew it Harley landed on the ground in a crouching position and flung herself in an ally was a few minutes before she realized she made a grave mistake. She wasn't a few years in the past, she was a few centuries in the past. It looked as if she was in the wrong place too, the buildings were medieval France by the looks of it. If she was in France then she was in luck. She learned French in high school for more credits towards collage, but that didn't mean she was that good.

"I hope Mistah Jay comes and finds me." Harley said to herself and going through her bag to check if she lost any thing and she did. She lost her gun, bazooka, and rubber chicken. All that she had was her wand, some different varieties of bombs, her make up, two different pairs of clothes, and her mallet.

Harley looked out into the streets of Paris France to see what looked like a party she use to throw for her birthday with good, confusing, and poorly made people in costumes. She walked out into the street with her jester wand at hand and tried to look for an educated person. If she had good luck then she might run into an inventor and ask him what she would do for her situation.

Harley felt a little tug on her glove. Looking down she seen a little boy with bright eye's. "What can you do?" The little boy asked smiling. "I can do any thing, why?" She said smiling right back at him and leaning to his eye level wondering if this would be the way Mr. J looked when he was a child. "Can you juggle?" He asked. Harley looked around and saw a fruit stand. Cartwheeling over she grabbed three apples and started to juggle them for him. After a minute or two a small crowd of children gathered, when she finished they clapped and went back to their parents. Harley put the apples back on the stand to the pleasure of the irritated owner as he shooed her away.

She kept walking till she seen the large Cathedral. Standing proudly, Harley smiled up at it with no worries. She knew Mister J would find a way to get her back home with him. After a few minutes of staring Harley walked off again with a smile on her face as she gazed upon the different costumes.

They were of horses, jesters, monsters, Kings, whores, cats, and dogs. It was very childish but Harley loved it all the same. Harley felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see a man dressed as a purple and yellow jester with a large hat. "Nice costume, let me guess who you are. Mmmmm Alice?" Harley shook her head no. "Adele? No, Andree right?" She shook her head no as the purple jester kept guessing. "Chantal? Claire? Henrietta? Who are you?" He asked pointing at her.

"I'm Harleen Quinzel." She said bowing to him. The purple jester smiled. "Ah an out sider! Welcome to Paris! If I were correct, from the sound of your accent your British no?" Harley smiled. "Yeah you could say that." The man kept his smile and bowed to her. "My name is Clopin, do you need a place to preform?" Clopin asked trying to be nice to what he thought was a British gypsy. Harley shook her head no. "Nah I'm ok, I'll have to find one thank you." They departed as she went back to Cathedral and motioned for children to gather around her. Setting her bag open to receive money Harley pulled on her sleeves finding the handkerchief she was looking for. Yanking on the clothe she started to pull out handkerchiefs. Handing one end to a little girl Harley told her to pull.

The children around her pulled and pulled the never ending handkerchiefs from her sleeve. They all laughed as Harley pulled out the end of it and let the kids un-knot them so they could have one each. The parents left coins in her bag for the entertainment. Her next act was going to her acrobatic skills. She did a number of flip flops, somersaults, front flips, and handstands one right after the other, and earned plenty of money to buy food for the night.

Walking over to a stage she seen Clopin moving and talking. "Come one, come all! Hurry here's your chance, dance la Esmeralda dance!" Throwing a purple smoke bomb onto the floor he disappeared and out came a beautiful woman and her child, it was the little boy from before. Harley was amazed that people could dance like that.

After the dance men came onto the stage with masks. "Now is the time to pick our new king of fools!" one by one the gypsy Esmeralda tore off masks but none were fit for the ugliest except the last man. "We found our king of fools!" Announced Clopin and raised the hand of the drunk man standing on the stage. The man was hoisted into a fools chair and they paraded him around till he was bought back to a temporary stage in front of the Cathedral.

A guard dressed in gold stood beside Harley and was clapping with smile, before he nudged Harley. "Thats my wife." She laughed a little bit at the man, he was too proud and loving. Her thoughts drifted to Joker, she begged him to have a child but he said no, Harley spent the entire night that night crying. She departed from the stage and walked around looking for an inn to stay in. After trying to check into three inns Harley gave up and looked for a place to sleep on the street when she seen Clopin in a caravan by the Cathedral.

She walked over watching him pack up for the night. "Hello." Clopin turned around and smiled at Harley. "Hey, how are you Harleen?" He asked closing the doors of his caravan. "Oh I'm fine, do you know any inns or taverns that I could go to for tonight?"

"Well there's the inn by the river, two in the market place, and one run down tavern right around here." Clopin had the feeling that no one was going to give her a place and he knew that it would take a few days to get her into the court. He could just show up with her but he wants to make sure he could trust her. "I the first three. They said I was bad for business and I had to go." She shurgged.

Clopin took the Harlequins' hand and bowed. "Will you let me have the honer of escorting you there?" Harley nearly jumped out of her skin, Mr. J didn't even do this, nor did the Creeper. Harley shivered. "Yes?" She asked while wrapping her arm with the jesters as he led her. "Wow Mr. J never treated me like lady." Harley said in english as things got clear again but it disappeared as Clopin spoke in english.

"Who is this Mr. Jay?" It took a minute to remember that she was in medieval France before she answered him. "He's kind of like my boy friend, except I don't know if he's coming to get me or not, I'm sure he is though." She was going in and out of her mental fog and Clopin could see it. They walked in silence till they entered the tavern. Harley walked up to the counter and requested a room. "A room for you? Yeah sure." Harley was about to go into tears and jumped over the counter and hugged the man like a little kid. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" The bartender patted her on the back.

"Two gold coins please." The man said. Harley tossed them to him and turned to Clopin and hugged him to. He was startled at first then smiled at the young gypsy. "May I show you to your room?" Clopin asked willing to do it for the bartender seeing as he was busy. "Yeah sure." Harley said smiling and following him up the stairs and down the hall to the door to the left. Walking in Harley invited Clopin in the one bed room.

"You don't mind if I take off my make up do you?" She was so use to wearing her make up around Joker that before she went to bed she'd always ask, course he'd say no. "I don't mind at all." Clopin sat on her bed. Harley poured some water into a bowl then peeled her mask off setting it by the bowl, she then pulled off her hat and shook out her hair. Clopin stopped breathing once he seen her gold hair fall out of the jester hat, he was expecting to see dark brown hair and skin. Harley grabbed a sponge and started to wipe off her white paste make up revealing her white skin that held red blotches on it from rubbing.

She then turned around and rummaged through her bag grabbing out her black sweater and pulling it over her costume. "Ah it feels so good to finally take that off!" She said spinning around with her hands in the air. Clopin chuckled at her, she was like a child stuck in a woman's body. "Do you wish to have a drink with me before I depart?" He asked her while she was still spinning. "Yeah!" She cartwheeled out into the hall with Clopin walking right behind her.

Taking a seat at the bar Clopin ordered two glasses of mead. "So Harley what business are you here for? Are you here just for this week or will you be staying?" He wanted to know so badly about her plans. "Oh I'm going to stay here for a few weeks then probably go to Italy, but thats if Mr. J doesn't find me." Harley had too much faith in the Joker and she knew that deep down inside that he didn't care. Clopin's eye's widened. "Your going to travel to Italy if this man doesn't come and get you?" Harley nodded taking a drink of her mead.

"Your off your head! How do you plan on getting to Italy?" Clopin asked the blonde woman that sat across from her. "Easy steal a horse and some food." He shook his head and took off his mask and sighed, Harley nearly choked at his true appearance. Clopin slapped her on the back. "Are you alright?" He asked the almost choke victim. Harley was still staring at him, he was hansom, not her usual Joker hansom but truly hansom. "Yeah I'm alright." She said covering her mouth.

The mental fog cleared again as she stared at him. 'What was it that she saw in Joker.' She lost train of thought as the fog came in once more. "So what do you do Clopin? I mean besides announcing people." She asked taking another sip of her mead carefully. "I am a puppeteer, I tell children stories when I can. They seem to really enjoy it." Clopin said then took a drink from his cup. "Oh, I thought you'd do some thing a little more interesting, like rob noblemen or some thing." She said leaning forward. "At least thats what I'm going to do if I can't find a good horse." Clopin blinked a few times before he got what she was saying, then chuckled. She was telling him information that could put her into jail for months there was just no way that she was a spy but he had to be sure.

"Harley, if your interested, why don't you come by my caravan tomorrow and help me preform. I could use the help, we'll split the money half and half, promise." Clopin said sticking out his gloved pinky towards her. Harley figured that she could use the money and that she didn't have any thing to lose. She smiled and locked pinkies with him. "Sounds like fun. I'll be there at dawn Clopin!" They finished their drinks and said their goodbyes for the night. Harley went to bed all nice and warm and snuggling with her mallet.

* * *

Waking early in the morning Harley got dressed in her 'uniform' and ate some fruit before rushing out the door to rush to Clopins Caravan. She could hardly wait. She had a good feeling about today and nothing was going to get in her way or preforming. Harley was cheery with a huge smile on her face as she cartwheeled down the street and said hello to the baker while passing.

Finally making it to his caravan she jumped onto the roof of it and knocked on the door hanging up side down. She seen Clopin open the top half and look out into the sun. "Hey there!" Harley said cheerily waving at him upside down. Clopin jumped and looked up at her smiling. "Your up early." He said coming out of the caravan and rubbing his forehead. She jumped down from the roof and landed gracefully on her feet. "So what are we doing today!" Harley asked following him. "First I need you to set up a scene for a fairy tale, then get the puppets ready. I'm going to go get some thing to eat."

Harley waved him off then dived into his caravan, trying to find the scenery to the story Rapunzel but just found the scenery for the Cathedral and just set that one up instead. She was humming and getting out some puppets when she seen the one that looked like Clopin. "Oh how cute! Its a mini Clopin, just like Dr. Evils' buddy mini me!" Harley was all jazzed up about the little puppet that she took it off the stand and slipped her hand in it giggling. "What are you doing?" Clopin asked stepping into the caravan.

"Eeep!" She set the puppet down on the table to her right almost knocking every thing else over. Clopin quirked his head to the right and smiled at her childish tactics. "Its quiet alright Harley, we are going to be playing with puppets today, so go and pick one. Harley smiled and walked quickly over to the puppet picking the one with the hunchback. "Ah I haven't done this story in a long time! The hunchback of Notre Dame. You know it." She shook her head yes and smiled.

"Good, now if you would, attract some attention from the children, after all we need an audience." Harley dived out the window of the caravan and landed in the street near a crowd of children. "Hey do you kids want to see a puppet show?" They shook their heads yes. Harley smiled and led them over to Clopin's caravan and jumped right back in. "They're right out side."

Clopin started the story having Harley change scenes for him once in a while and playing the part of a startled baker. When they were almost done with the story Harley's puppet was taken off her hand. She peeked over their stage and seen a red haired beauty. The red haired woman just looked at her and gave Harley the puppet back. After they were done with the show Harley told Clopin to meet her at the inn she was staying at so they could split the money while she went out to look for the red haired woman.

Harley didn't have no luck by noon so strolled around the market place. It wouldn't surprise her if Ivy went to find her instead of Joker, after all they were best friends. "Mistah J will come for me." Harley went back to the inn and met up with Clopin. "Did you find that woman?" He asked ordering two pints of mead for them. Harley sighed. "No, I thought that woman was my friend but it was some one else." She said sadly. They split the money evenly and said good night to each other.

A week later.

Harley had done a lot of shows with Clopin and they got to know each other a little more or well Clopin got to know Harley a little more. He'd ask about her life with this Mr. J, her friends, and her pets who she called babies. She would some times speak of her doubts about the man that was suppose to meet her here but Harley would push the subject away. Clopin had made up his mind about her and wanted her to join the Court of Miracles.

Clopin was walking to the inn that she was staying at hoping that she would be up even though it was midnight. As he was walking up to the inn he heard a crash to his left and a figure being chased by guards with torches. Figuring that it was one of his fellow gypsies he ran after the dark figure. It took a moment to finally catch the arm of the figure and pulled them to the side. Pushing the body into a wall till the guards passed. Grabbing the wrist of the figure he led them to a man hole.

"Thanks, I was sure they were going to catch me." Clopins eye's widened and he turned around to see Harley. "Harley! What did you do?" He asked as they heaved the man hole open and jumped in closing it. "Oh I just stole some jewels and stuff, and they threw a fit." She giggled as they walked. "So where are we going Clopin?" She asked as he held onto her wrist leading her to the Court. "I'm taking you to the Court of Miracles so you may be part of it." He then stopped and opened a grate. The court was quiet as they walked through the sleeping court of miracles, Clopin lead Harley to a hang mans pier.

"Wait a moment let me get some witnesses." Harley stood there as he ran off. It was a few minutes later that she heard some bell ringing and foot steps coming her way. Clopin, the little boy from the Festival of Fools, Esmeralda the dancer, and a large man came towards her with a dummy with bells tied to it. Clopin put a stool in front of the dummy and had Harley stand on it. "Put your left foot behind your right knee then try to steal the purse."

Harley did as she was told. It took a few minutes for her fingers to untie the purse but she got it, after all she's stolen things that had high tech systems and lasers. Throwing the purse to the large man Harley jumped off the stool smiling. "What now?" She asked. The gypsies were smiling before the large man and the little boy embraced her. "Your part of the court!" After there small celebration the little boy and Esmeralda went to bed. Clopin walked up to her and held out his hand to congratulate her but Harley ignored it and gave him a great big hug wrapping her arms around his neck. He blushed as she pressed into him.

Pulling away from him Harley was happy and decided to share what she stole with him. He led her to her tent smiling with pride for his new member of the Court. Once they were at her tent Harley invited him inside. "Sit down. I have some thing to show you!" She said dumping the stolen objects plus every thing else out of the bag and laid down on the bed. Clopin could have died or choked if he was drinking some thing by just looking at the jewels she stole from some noble man.

"Do you like them?" Clopin stared at the jewels and smiled nodding. Harley was nervous to ask but she had to. Taking a deep breath she let it out. "Clopin, in a week or so, will you please escort me to Italy? I need to find some one to help me home. I'm not from Britain, I'm from America. But in order to get back I need to find a philosopher. Will you help me. I'll give you all the jewels if you do minus the expenses for the trip unless you'd just like me to steal a few horses." Clopin looked up at her. "You want me to take you to Italy?" Harley nodded her head with hope in her eye's.

He thought about it for a moment then answered. "I'll separate the jewels and we'll take the expenses, the rest will go to the court. I'll have to find some one to replace while I'm gone." Harley tilted her head to the left. "Why would you need to be replaced?" Clopin stared into her eye's and sighed. "Because, I'm the king of the gypsies dear." Her eye's widened. 'King?' She thought to herself 'I'm asking a king to take me.' She then nodded. "Are you sure you want to come with me Clopin? If you feel that you can not then I'll go myself." Clopin shook his head no. "I can not let you leave Paris with out a guide and would not trust any man to escort you but myself." Harley was touched by his gesture.

He stood to leave. Before he could go Harley gave him another hug and whispered in his ear. "Thank you Clopin." He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged back. "Your welcome mou pettite." They said good night to each other and retired for the night. Harley put her bag underneath her pillow and crawled into bed blowing out the candle by her bed side.

* * *

Yay I finished the first chapter! Omg I'm all hyped up and what not! And guess what, I'm not the only one who thought of this couple! A person known as canti5505 (if I didn't get it right correct me) has thought of this couple too! I hope they read and review, same goes for the rest of you! Please review and tell me if you think I'm heading in the right direction with this!

SPOILER ALERT! THERE WILL BE A FIGHT SCENE BETWEEN JOKER AND CLOPIN! BUT WHO'S SIDE WILL HARLEY TAKE?


	2. before departure part 1

I do not own any thing

Harley woke the next morning to Clopin practically shaking her. "Wake up Harley I need to see the jewels so I may separate them." She got out of her bed in just her panties and shirt. Clopin jumped startled by so much skin exposure from his friend he turned around. He heard the bag jingle. "Clopin you don't have to hide, I use to walk around in my house like this." Clopin shook his head no like a little kid. She shrugged and pulled her sweater on and her red clothe overalls along with her black boots then dumped the jewels onto her bed. "Clopin you can look now." He was slightly confused by her appearance but ignored it and went to the jewels.

When they got the jewels separated Clopin showed her around the court of miracles and bought some food so she'll last a few days. After they were done Clopin went up to the stage and ordered for every one to gather around to hear the announcement. "Members of the Court quiet please. Now I would like to announce that I will be going on a trip to Italy with our friend Harley Quinn. She has paid the Court so there will be no other discussing it, in the mean time, I need a successor for when I leave. Some one to protect you all. Who do you vote?" He asked.

The Court erupted into conversation but then quieted down instantly when one yelled Jack Axel and a few other people yelled for a man named Pierre. Clopin silenced them and looked around. "Who votes Axel?" He asked the court and more than half raised their hands. "Who votes Pierre?" The rest raised their hands. Clopin cleared his throat and spoke again. "Jack Axel please come forth." The huge man from the night before came onto the stage and knelt by Clopin then spoke. "I will protect them with my life."

Clopin looked down at the huge man then offered his hand to help Jack Axel up. "You better, or else they will kill you." Jack took Clopin's hand and the crowd cheered. Jack, Clopin, and Harley left the stage together. The two men were talking as Harley was pulled aside by Esmeralda. "What in hell do you think your doing taking our king from us! We need him!" Esmeralda was at the point of yelling. Harley smiled at her. "I didn't know he was your king when I asked him. When he told me I told him that he could stay and send me with one of his men but he refused. So its not my fault that he wants to go, god chill out." Esmeralda was confused by the woman that stood in front of her. Harley as she called herself was in generally confusing from her clothes to her attitude. Harley walked away from Esmeralda and went to her tent.

It wasn't till later that Harley and Esmeralda talked again. "Hello?" Harley turned to the door of her tent to see Esmeralda peeking in. "Come on in Esmeralda I'm just double checking that I have every thing. Have a seat." Esmeralda remained standing as she looked at Harley's things. "Whats this?" Esmeralda asked Harley picking up a bomb. "Whoa careful Esmeralda! Thats not a toy, so what was it you wanted to talk about?" Harley asked taking the bomb and changing the subject.

"Right. Its about Clopin. Did he tell you why he didn't want you to be escorted by one of our other men?" Esmeralda asked watching Harley pack up her things. "Yeah, he said that he wouldn't trust any other man with me." Esmeralda looked up at the blonde woman with wide eyes. "He said that?" Harley nodded and put her bag across her chest. "You must be on one hell of a quest Harley, at least one to interest our King." Harley shrugged then answered. "I'm going to Italy to try to find an inventor named Leonardo da Vinci. I need to talk to him." Esmeralda's eye's couldn't get any wider. "Did you know that he could speak Italian?" She asked Harley who Esmeralda suspected was off her hinges. Harley shook her head no. "No I didn't, maybe thats why he wanted to go, or maybe he has some business there, I don't know, why do you ask? He's your King you should know." Esmeralda gave Harley a nasty look but continued to talk to her. "Tell me when you leave, my husband and I will escort you two out." Esmeralda then took her leave.

Harley went up into town with Clopin to his caravan so they could do an acrobatic number together and Harley was in her costume so she wouldn't look too suspicous. As they walked Harley asked him. "Why don't you let one of your other men go with me?" Clopin shook his head no and answered smiling. "None of them but myself speaks Italian, besides the ones that do can't speak it very well. Besides, I wouldn't trust them with your life, mine maybe, but not yours. Now what shall we do today Harley? Somersaults, front flips, cartwheels, handstands?" Harley pondered for a moment then smiled. "Why not all? Unless your not up to it."

"Ah a challenge from the Harlequin! I like it." Clopin said rubbing his hands together and smiling. Harley smiled right back at him and they took their positions by his caravan. They first started with handstands and somersaults but finished up with a cartwheel, and a front flip. By the time they were done with their show they walked back to the Court of Miracles so no guards would chase after Harley if she was seen in a tavern.

Taking a seat at the table by Clopin, Harley filled her plate with veggies and meat. After she ate she invited Clopin to her tent so they could discuss their plans. He pulled out a map and laid it on the ground were the two of them knelt on the floor hunched over it. "Alright Harley who are we looking for?" He asked looking at the map. "We're looking for a Leonardo di Vinci, he's an inventor that lives in Florence, Italy." Clopin looked up at her with wide eyes. "You plan on talking to him, he's guarded by assassins and not just any Harley. The brotherhood of assassins! How in hell do you plan on getting by them?" Harley smiled her crazy smile. "I have a few tricks up my sleeves Clopin."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Alright Harley, if we're going to make it there then we should avoid the mountains and skim the border of Switzerland then make our way into Italy by following the beach south east." Clopin said marking a path with his quill and ink. "Sounds good, but how long will it take and how much should we take with us?" Harley asked looking into his serene face. "We will need hunting gear and weapons to fight off thieves, none the less for hunting as well. The trip will take in all about a month and nine days by horse and caravan. Its too risky and irresponsible to travel by horse alone." She nodded with a determined look on her face. "How much money will we need Clopin? Surely we will need some gold or jewels and if we get stopped by thieves-" Clopin stopped her with his hand on her mouth he smiled.

"Harley we will sew our money into our clothes so don't worry about that, besides we're going to be together we'll help each other out. Since we have finished that." Clopin said rolling up the map and standing up with Harley to follow. "How about we test your fighting skills, I need to know how much fighting I'll be doing." Harley frowned and grabbed her bag. "We'll see who's going to be doing all the fighting Clopin!" With a playful huff she followed him out of the tent and into a clear spot of the Court. Clopin whistled and out came a man that looked as if though he were the size of batman.

Harley stood with her arms behind her back and waited. The man rushed at her with his fist aimed at her face. Harley grabbed the mallet from her bag and hit him square in the jaw with it knocking the man out. Clopin walked up to her and took her bag and mallet raising an eyebrow. "No weapons Harley. Next!" Another man about the same sized came out of the crowd. He ran up to her and tried to kick her feet from under her but Harley did a somersault, and in the process tried to kick the man in the face but failed. Landing on the ground Harley ran towards him and tried punching the man in the face but only landed a few blows to the guys chest. The man couldn't land a blow to her do to her reflex's. In the end Harley won with a solid round house kick to the mans temple.

Clopin clapped and stepped forward. He put her bag across his shoulder then got into a fighting position. "If you can get your bag from me then you wont have to fight any more. If you don't then you'll train with me till midnight tonight." Harley nodded her head and ran towards him throwing jabs but he was too fast for her and ducked kicking her feet from underneath her. She fell to the ground but got back up putting every thing she had into it. "Come Harley you must do better than that." Clopin said backing away and moving side to side with every punch she threw at him. Harley stopped and walked up to him with her hand out. "I give up." She said smiling. Clopin slowly reached for her hand when she tackled him with out hesitation and snagged her bag from his shoulder.

"Ha! You gotta do better than that Clopin!" Harley stood and helped Clopin up as well. "You cheated." He said dusting himself off. "Yeah but you didn't lay down any rules so I won!" She said as they walked slowly towards what she suspected to be his tent. They ducked into the tent and sat on his bed. Harley laid down on her stomach with her legs waving through the air as Clopin sat beside her. "Your a good fighter Harley, where did you learn to fight?" She stopped her legs and looked up at him. "I um use to spare with this guy named Bats, also Mister Jay taught me a few things, oh and Ivy too!"

* * *

He gave her a strange look and tilted his head to the side. "Bats? Ivy? Who would name a person these things?" Harley laughed. "No thats not their real names. I don't know Batmans name but Ivy's real name is Pamela. She's all about plants and taught me which ones to eat and which not. Good thing too. I got lost once in the woods and I was about to eat some mushrooms but Ivy slapped me then said 'what are you stupid! Those ones will get you high!' I ended up eating them any way's. I was too hungry." Clopins eye's widened at her story. "What if they were poisonous?" Harley just smiled. "It wouldn't matter." He was confused by her answer and left it as it was. They said goodnight to each other and went to bed.

The next morning Harley and Clopin met up to make a list of things that they would need when traveling. So far they had blankets, pots, pans, four cloaks, sewing kits, knives, bows, arrows, extra clothes, and some food for the first few days. Course that was Clopins list, Harley's was a little more crazy such as her double checking of bombs, her mallet, clothes, make up, hair brush, her 'uniform', and her jester wand.

"Alright Harley we need to get you some normal clothes." Clopin said while packing his things. "What do you mean normal clothes? My clothes are normal." She said looking down at her black slacks, boots, and dark red long sleeved shirt that stuck to her skin like Esmeralda's red dancing dress. Clopin raised his eyebrow at her and pointed. "They may be normal in the American colonies, but they are not normal here. Do they even let you women wear pants?" Harley decided to mess with him. "Yeah only us crazy ones."

Clopins' eye twitched as he smiled at her joke. "I'm sure your not off your rocker at least not too much." Harley let out a giggle. "Thats a nice thing to say! I didn't know you were so found of me." She smiled at the disturbed look on Clopins face. "None the less Harley you need clothes." Harley shrugged. "Yeah ok so what your going to take me shopping?" She asked laying on her bed. Clopin smirked at her. "Yes I am." Harley jumped off her bed and jumped up and down with her arms in the air. "Yay! Mister J never takes me shopping!"

* * *

They walked out of the catacombs and into the graveyard. "So what are we going to get? Oh I hope they have a pretty dress! Oh I love shopping!" Harley kept gabbing about her shopping experiences with Ivy and the time they had some rich guy buy them all sorts of gifts. "How did you manage that?" Clopin asked as they stepped into a dress shop. He suspected that Harley or this Ivy woman seduced the poor man. "Oh Ivy has her ways." Clopin sighed in relief at least Harley wasn't the harlot.

Harley grabbed a black and red dress, plus a blue dress with a black corset, and a white blouse. When she presented them to tailor, the tailor sighed and had her follow him to the back so he could fit her. Clopin had to wait politely in the front. Harley went behind a curtain and started to undress when she heard a small crash of a tea cup and a whisper. "Repairo." Coming from behind the curtain in the red dress she smiled at the man. "My grandmother use to whisper things like that. I broke one of her favorite figurines when I was little but she said it was alright and she said that same word you did and it got fixed. She told me a secret that night and not to tell any one else then showed me her-" Harley cut her self off and did a movement with her hand as if she was holding a stick. The man blinked at her then smiled.

"So your a squib and so is one of your parents." She shrugged and smiled back at him. "Go figure. You don't mind if I do a little," The man took out his wand and waved it. Harley smiled brightly at him and shook her head yes. "Alright now stand still, we don't want any accidents." The man said smiling as Harley stood straight and still. He waved his wand and her dress tightened to her size.

After sizing both of the dresses Clopin led Harley back to the Court of Miracles. "What did you and the tailor talk about?" He asked as they walked into her tent. "Oh we just talked about the dresses and how they looked like my grandmothers." Harley said lightly putting the dresses on her bed. "I can't believe how fast he sized your clothes, you must be a full figured woman." She snorted at his comment as if you couldn't see her figure with her harlequin costume on. "Full figured. No just the right size thats all." Clopin sat on her bed.

"Your a curious woman Harleen." With the use of her real name the fog went away. She blinked for a few moments then looked at him. "How so?" She asked looking around as if seeing all of this for the first time. "Well for one you show to the Feast of Fools looking for some one that doesn't know where you are and you talk about him all the time. Your a female performer that dresses in odd attire in general and you steal with out consideration of your death. Some would think that your mental." Clopin finished putting his hat on top of her dresses.

The fog came back to her and she plopped onto the bed laying on her dresses with an arm over her eye's. "I guess I am weird, oh well, I went from Dr. Quinzel with my dream life to a looney tune villain." Clopin looked at her and tilted his head. "Doctor? Women are aloud to be doctors where your from? What kind of back ward place do you live in?" Harley chuckled sitting up and looking at him. "Forget it Clopin." They bid each other goodnight and went to bed early. Tomorrow they would be packing up Clopins caravan and the day after they would be leaving.


	3. A quick note for you

Yay I get to leave a small note! I do not own Hunchback of Notredame nor do I own Batman. Yeah please Review I want to know if any one is reading lol thank you if you do.


	4. Before departure part 2

Ok before departure two! Yay! Plus an inside look on what every one is doing while Harley is gone!

Like always nothing is mine

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enjoy the story!

In Jokers hide out in the present.

"JOKER!" Poison Ivy yelled while bursting into Jokers hide out door. "Well, well, isn't it my favorite weed. What may I do for you?" Joker asked leaning up against the wall with his usual smile on his face. "What do you think! I've been calling Harley's cell phone for ages and I can't find her any were! What did you do to her!" She screamed as Joker started to laugh. He put his right hand on his chest and stepped forward. "What did I do? I didn't do any thing to her, nothing out of the norm any ways."

"What do you mean out of the norm?" She asked pointing at him with one hand while the other was on her hip. "Well besides her special treatment from a very special friend of mine. I believe you know Puck." He said as a pale man with white hair and long ears stepped out of the shadows. "So what about him?" Ivy asked now in a threatening manner pointing at the fay.

"Well my dear friend here has been treating Harley with a little magic and now he can't find her at first I thought that she went with you for a while but it seems she's fallen off of the face of the earth." The blonde man sighed. "Why don't you two just check the note she left?" Puck asked putting his hands behind his head bored. "Note?" Ivy and Joker asked in unison.

Puck snapped his fingers and a note appeared floating in midair with Harley's hand writing. Both Joker and Ivy read it.

_Hey Pudding' it me Harley. I used the time machine to make our life a little less cartoon and a little more normal. By the time you've read this I should have removed your father so then we could have a normal life and adopt some children since I'm not able to have any. With lots of Love, Harley Quin. _

Ivy gasped as Joker gaped. Meanwhile on the roof top of Jokers hide out a young woman dressed in a bat suit sighed then muttered. "What on earth?" Turning on her wrist watch she contacted the Batman. "What the news on Harley Bat-woman?" Batman asked with all too serious expression on his face.

"Its not good Batman. It seems Harley has went back in time, I need you to look up cold case deaths, she was planning on killing the Jokers father so they'd have a normal life." Bat woman said retreating from the window. Batman's eye's widened. "I doubt that Joker would have changed even with out his father. I'll be sure to look up on the cold case's though. Is there any thing else Bat woman?"

She nodded. "It seems like magical creatures are involved. You better contact that woman in new york, those guys might know more about it than us. A elf looking thing called Puck has been casting a spell on Harley since day one. I guess she was never a true crazy." Bat woman said to Batman.

"I'll contact them and ask if they know any thing about Puck, in the mean time you get home to your father, I'm sure he's worried sick." She smiled and they disconnected. Jumping off the roof she landed in the bat mobile and drove off.

Harley was happily packing up Clopin's caravan full of there stuff. They were to stay in the caravan that night and the next morning they would leave. It was evening when Harley got every thing packed and she was to spend the rest of the night sewing the jewels into her clothes.

Clopin walked up to her with a bottle of wine and a basket of food. She skipped over to him happily, "Watcha got there Clopin?" He grunted as he went past her and slammed the door shut to the caravan. She sighed and walked off. "I guess its better for him to just cool off than bother him. At least that's what I learned from Joker." The fog cleared as she tripped and landed face first on the ground. She didn't dare move for fear that the feeling would go away.

It felt like forever since she thought clear and she didn't want it to end. "Miss? Are you alright?" Harley looked up to see the tailor from the other day standing before her. "Oh its you. I'm fine as along as I don't move." The tailor sat down next to her. "Why wont you move?"

"Its just that my mind clears up and I remember my mind clearing, but it doesn't stay clear. But every time it clears I remember who I am and what I'm suppose to be doing. I probably sound crazy." Harley said sighing and laying her head on the ground again. "No I think I know what you mean. Why don't you come to my house for some tea and we can talk more about this."

She shook her head no. "If I move then I wont be clear minded. I'll lose our conversation." The tailor none the less picked her up and carried her to his house. "Hey what do you think your doing?" The man smiled. "Well it seems that your clarity has came back."

Just then Clopin came running up. "What happened? Is Harley alright?" Harley blinked and smiled. "Yes its alright Clopin, I just tripped and sprained my ankle. So this nice man has offered my a cup of tea while he gets a doctor for me."

"I'll get you a doctor Harley, why don't you two enjoy some tea. I'll be right back." Clopin said running off while the tailor carried Harley into his shop then set her down on a chair in the back room. "Well since he's gone shall I introduce myself? My name is Alfred De Court."

"Harleen Quinzel." She said daring not to move for the cup of tea that he poured her. "Well Harleen I think that you have a fairy problem." Alfred said taking a sip as Harley's head snapped towards him. "Fairy problem? What do you mean Fairy problem? Like little people with wings?"

"No. I think its a Dark Elf. Very powerful. Where are you and your male companion traveling?" He asked leaning back in his chair.

"Italy. I'm going to try to talk to Leonardo Di Vinci about getting were I need to go." Harley said looking at the floor. She knew she didn't want to go back to Joker but she needed to get back none the less.

"Ah yes the inventor for the muggles. Well he'll be able to identify the fae that has put fog in your mind so that way you can find the fae and confront them. By the way Harleen where are you going?" He asked staring her in the eye's. The first thing that came to her mind was Gotham.

Alfred picked up his cup then said "I see so you've had an accident that was caused from the illusion that the dark elf has put on you. Such a shame. I can tell you now that as great as Di Vinci is he wont be able to transport you back home." Harley's head drooped and she almost started to cry till Alfred spoke again. "But he can find a way, I'm sure of it. Ah here comes the doctor and your friend."

Clopin walked into the room with the doctor right behind him. "Good evening doctor, sorry if I interrupted any thing." The doctor didn't say any thing and took a look at Harley's ankles. Clopin stood over the doctor watching. "Well Doctor Evans, what is the matter with her ankle?" The Doctor moved to the side and looked up at Clopin.

"Its not broke, just sprained. She should stay off her feet for a day or so other than that she's fine." The doctor stood to leave and Clopin followed him to the door. Alfred quickly gave Harley a piece of paper. "Write me once your there and I'll explain to Di Vinci. That letter will let you past his assassins and I can meet you there. This way you wont forget once you get there." Harley stuffed the letter in her corset.

Clopin came back into the room and picked up Harley bridal style. "Hey what are you doing?" She asked with protest in her voice. "I'm taking you back to the caravan so we can eat." She blinked then looked towards Alfred. "Thank you for every thing Alfred, hope to see you again." Waving Clopin carried her out of the house and headed towards the caravan.

"How on earth does one sprain their ankle while tripping?" Clopin said chuckling a little. "Hey things like that happen all the time! A friend of mine hurt herself while writing and it turned out that she sprained her finger." Clopin burst into a fit of laughter that he had to stop for a moment.

Harley smiled at him. She had never been able to make the Joker laugh but with one story she made her male companion bust a gut. "How could one do that?" Clopin asked still carrying her down the street while people stared at them. Harley shrugged. After a few minutes of walking they finally made it to the caravan. Clopin set her down on her feet and opened the door then proceeded to carry her in, and drop her on the bed.

She giggled a little from the bouncing as Clopin got some bread and cheese out to go along with their beef stew. "Clopin this is a strange question but I'm going to ask it any ways. Did you ever have a family?" At this he stopped dead of what he was doing and turned to he with sadness in his eye's.

When he spoke it frightened her to hear him so sad. "I did once. I had my mother, father, brother, sisters, and a bride. But my family was torn apart by bandits. My father and brother died trying to defend all of us, I was the youngest in our family, so I don't remember all of it. One of my sisters, the oldest that I remember, was taken along with the bandits. My mother died six months later from a broken heart. The youngest sister I protected her with all my might but I failed. We couldn't afford a doctor for her and she slowly died." By this time Harley was crying but Clopin didn't noticed.

"After all that happened I wondered the streets for a year in Paris till the gypsies in the court of miracles took me in. I grew up in the Kings family and was proclaimed their son since his wife couldn't bear any children herself." Clopin looked at Harley who was trying to wipe away tears from her face. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to open old wounds." She said rubbing her eye's.

Clopin sat down next to her on the bed and put his arm around her. "Its alright Harley, I just know all this from what my mother told me. I think that I was too young to remember." She shook her head no.

"You hold the answer deep in your own mind Clopin. Consciously you've forgotten it, that's the way the human mind works. When some thing is too unpleasant, too shameful to retain, we reject it. Erase it from our memories so to speak. But the memory is still there hidden deep within you Clopin. The only thing is that it can be triggered by smell, sound, sight, taste, or even a feeling which can bring the memory to life." She said still wiping the tears from her eye's.

Clopin patted her on the back trying to sooth her. "How about we eat and you tell me more of your home." Harley nodded as he got up. "Well my mom was a sweet woman, always making sure that I went to school, but there was always some thing off in her relationship between my grandmothers and hers. My grandmother was always cheerful but my mom always seemed to be jealous of her. I always thought it was because of how old my grandmother was. She said that she met the writer of Alice in Wonderland and that the place was indeed real." Harley stated mindlessly as she continued while Clopin gave a confused look.

"But when I met the Mad Hatter I asked him and he said he wasn't and I should get my head checked. Then started our argument of who was madder." Clopin decided to ask. "Who won?" Harley looked up at him from her babbling. "I did of course. I'm a head doctor." She said pointing at her head smiling. Clopin smiled back at her and gave her, her food.

"Tell me more of Alice and Wonderland, I'm afraid that I haven't even heard of this book." Clopin said feeling stupid as he put a spoonful of the stew in his mouth. Harley laughed then thought. 'This is going to sound crazy.' "I can tell you all about it."

So while they ate she told him about the first few chapters till they reached the mad tea party. "Then the Mad Hatter said that he had a quarrel with Time and now its always six o'clock, which is evening tea." They both finished their stew by then. "I have to tell you Harley that the book is very mad." She giggled thinking that he didn't even know what mad was, at least not yet.

As the silence went on Harley played with her fingers. "So is there any one you want to say good bye to or want me to meet just in case I'm in Paris again?" She asked as Clopin stood from the bed then looked at her. "There is, have you ever met the Hunchback of Notre-Dame?" He asked grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet.

Clopin and Harley were standing in one of the bell towers that was known for harboring the hunch back of Notre-Dame and his wife. Harley was desperately clinging to Clopins arm scared that the Creeper was going to jump out at her and try to kiss her.

"Hello? Quasi?" Clopin said practically dragging Harley beside him. "Harley if you don't let go I'll lose my arm." At that moment a hunched back man jumped out of the shadows smiling. It was noticeable that Harley sighed because she relaxed then walked over to Quasi and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you Quasi I'm Harley Quinn." Quasi was slightly taken back by Harley's cheerful and friendly demeanor but at the same time pleased. "Its very nice to meet you too Harley, hello Clopin how are you?"

"Very well my friend, I thought that I would introduce you to Harley and say goodbye." At Clopins words Quasi's face became very confused. "You're leaving, why?"

Harley felt guilty for taking Clopin away from all the people that needed him. After the pleasant conversation Clopin and Harley went back to his Caravan. She stayed up most of the night staring at Clopin trying to figure out what to do. If she should just run away from him and travel alone or wake him up and talk to him. Harley got up and packed her things into her bag then shut the door to the caravan. But before she shut the door she whispered. "Thank you."

While out on the street she headed towards the south gate of Paris with her right hand in her bag holding firmly onto the mallet. 'Almost there.' She thought to herself as she walked pass Alfreds house which had a horse stall right across the street. Smiling Harley walked over to the horse stall quickly jumping over the gate but tripped over her dress as it got caught on the fence.

Landing flat on her face she heard heard some one say don't leave. Thinking it was her imagination playing tricks she climbed to her feet and continued till she heard the voice again. "Don't leave with out him."

Turning around she looked into the face of her best friend. "Ivy?" Harley asked unsure if she was just hallucinating or if it was really Pam. "Don't leave with out him Harles, Clopins the only chance you got in this time. So for the sake of whats left of every ones sanity don't leave with out him."

Harley was almost in tears as she jumped the fence and full force tackled Ivy. Wrapping her arms around Ivy like a child she squeezed her. "Pam I'm losing my mind."

Expectantly another voice but with a strong french accent reached her ears instead of the demanding voice of her best friend. "I hope not Harley, I need you sane for this trip of yours." Gasping Harley let go of Clopin and stepped away. "Sorry so sorry I thought just for a moment that you looked like some one else. My mind is playing tricks on me."

Clopin looked down at her worriedly but patted her head. "Its alright pettite, but why are you by the horse stalls? Were you thinking of leaving with out me?" Harley gulped then nodded. "Why?" He asked looking into her blue eyes. Taking a deep breath Harley started to explain. "When we went to see Quasi He looked really worried and Esmerelda tried finding out what I was up too but I wasn't up to any thing at all. Also I was thinking about all the people you'd be leaving behind because of me and how they'll pay for your absence."

Still staring down at her he smiled. "Harley, you needn't worry about them. I have done my job here and I think it is time for me to move on. After all I am a gypsy." Harley smiled widely up at him. "Thank you so much Clopin." She said hugging him then yawning.

"Come, you are tired and must rest. We must be awake before dawn." He said putting his arm around her shoulders leading her back to the caravan.

OMG Yes I finally finished it, it took forever but yes thank you! Sorry that it was so late, review please! Must have motivation lol thank you for it.


	5. One the way

Ok so sorry I had to clear up some things with my other fic so I'm back!

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Nothing is mine as always.

It was early in the morn and the sun was making a bright pink and blue in the sky before it rose into the sky. "Harley come on if you don't hurry people will spot us!" Clopin whispered to Harley helping the young woman onto the front of the caravan.

"I know Clopin its just that I'm so tired." She replied yawning as he sat next to her then jerked the reins so the horses would move forward. "Told you not to stay up late last night." He whispered smiling at her.

Once they got past the south gate they followed the trail. "So Clopin are you sure about this I mean you're leaving every one behind for a little while wait no thats not what I meant or is it,..." Harley cut herself off as he put a finger to her lips. "Quiet Harley no one likes babbling. Why don't you tell me a of these books I've never heard of?"

She gulped twiddling her thumbs then thought of her best friend and how she became Ivy. "There once was a passionate gardener by the name of Pamela Isly who loved her plants so much that she could understand them, they were like treasure to her. But there was only of her treasure's that she would indeed die for. Its name was the Briar Rose.

"It was the rarest flower of them all because it was lush and beautiful just like her. Men would come from far and wide to try to get her to move her garden so they could build a house there." Harley said dazing off into the woods only to be brought back by Clopins voice.

"Why did they want to live were her garden was?" He asked curiously staring at the road ahead. "Oh it was because that location was perfect for farming so every one wanted it even a wealthy lord. The lord figured if he could impress Pamela then he could have her and her land. But nothing went as he planned. The tree's that were around the lordships mansion forewarned her of his evil plot so she went home claiming to be sick. The next day she came back with a potion from a witch that would make her lips poisonous." Harley said trying to make her modern story fit into this past.

Clopin looked at her and smiled. "You know that witches are mostly friendly don't you?" Harley nodded then continued with her story.

"When dinner was served Pamela pretended to have a great time but once the lord proposed to her she said yes and gave him a kiss on the lips. The lord was so happy that he licked his lips in anticipation but instead of tasting the sweetness of her lips they tasted bitter. Not a moment later he dropped to the ground not able to move.

"Pamela took the rest of her potion and poured it on one half of his face to deform him so then he would lose any chance to marry his true love. The end." Harley said happily leaning back with her hands behind her head.

He looked at her confused. "So she destroyed the lord but what became of him?" Harley started to laugh which almost scared Clopin. "He went nuts and now people call him two face. Disgraced but really a good guy now, well at least the better half." Harley said giggling a little.

Clopin was staring at her now wondering if she was insane or not. "Relax! Nothings going to happen if you meet her. She's my best friend." He was still staring at her when he talked. "You mean the story's real and it really happened?"

"I changed a few parts of it of course just to make it entertaining." Harley heard Clopins sigh as he relaxed. "Are there any romantic story's where you come from?" He asked now leaning back next to her. "Yep but none of them are pretty at the end."

"Why not?" Clopin said leaning up and looking down at Harley. "Because life isn't all sunshine and peaches Clopin. I thought you knew that." She said finishing her conclusion and picking at her nails.

It was a few more hours before they stopped to eat lunch and let the horses graze. Once done with lunch they started to head off again. "So when will it be till we come by the next town?" She asked staring out into the woods waiting for some thing to jump out. "It will be about four days till we reach the next village." Clopin replied patting her head.

Harley turned herself towards Clopin and leaned up against him. She felt him stiffen but stayed put as he slowly started to relax beside her. It was nightfall and Clopin was going almost insane from Harley singing a sailors song.

She started the chorus again as Clopin tackled her down to the ground trying to stop her from singing it again. Harley started to giggle as she tried to push him off of her but he stayed put. "How is it your so strong! You're like the Riddler!" Harley said still struggling with Clopin till they both heard some one clearing their throat.

Both Harley and Clopin looked behind them to see two men standing by the caravan with swords by their sides. With out hesitating Clopin jumped to his feet pulling Harley with him. "What would you fine gentlemen want?" Clopin asked while Harley lunged for her mallet.

"Well lets see, we want your money, food, oh and your girl." The Leader said smiling towards Harley. She made a gagging sound as Clopin literally picked her up and tossed her into the caravan locking the door behind him. She started to bang on the door with her fists screaming like a child. "Clopin! Clopin let me out! Please I can help! I've beaten tougher!"

Harley stopped beating the door to listen for a moment. All she heard were smacks and cursing. She started to strip from her dress and change into her "Uniform". Picking up the oversized mallet Harley took one swing at the locked caravan door which broke the lock and jumped out.

When she seen Clopin on the ground her eyesight became red as she swung her mallet into the face of the one that seemed to be the leader. The leader fell to the ground unconscious while Harley turned to the other shaking man. "Alright scum bag you have a choice! Take your friend and live or die. Which is it?"

The man dropped the sword and ran towards his friend. "Thats right bub Ya better get out of here!" She said swinging at the man with her mallet to chase him away.

After they were gone Harley dropped her mallet and ran towards Clopin. Turning him over Harley lifted up his shirt to see what was wrong. All over his fit body were small and large cuts on his skin. She sighed then poked at his nose, he jumped up laughing which in turn made Harley laugh.

She got off the ground and slapped him on the back. "Ah I should have known! No one like you gets taken out by a beating like that." They laughed for a minute then she pushed him into the caravan and blocked the door with her mallet.

"Harley? What are you doing?" Clopin asked knocking on the door. "What do you think? I could have killed that poor kid just because you wanted to yank on my chain! Why do you think I held back huh Mr. J?" Harley said sitting by the fire forgetting who she was talking to.

"Harley? You do remember I am Clopin right?" Clopin shouted from the caravan which partially snapped Harley out of her daze. Blinking she walked over to the Caravan door and removed her mallet then opening the door to a blushing Clopin. "Sorry its just Joker would have played a joke like that on me if he were to get into a good mood."

Clopin pulled off Harley's Jester hat. "You look better with out your costume. I prefer you to wear your other strange clothing if you are to fight maybe the mask too but not the costume. Harley feeling in a better mood pushed him out of the caravan and changed into her overalls and red sweater but keeping her mask in her pocket.

Walking out of the caravan with some food Harley looked at Clopin smiling. I'd rather wear this any way. Mr. J use to always make me wear my costume." Harley smiled at Clopin then handed him an apple. "Why?" Clopin asked before taking a bite.

She paused for a moment before answering. "He's really into jesters and harlequins so he makes me wear the costume all the time. He always says 'Harley if you love me you'll wear that costume or at least the make up.'" Harley laughed but Clopin did not.

"If you were my wife I wouldn't make you wear any thing you didn't want too." Harley blushed at his words and shut up so she could eat her apple.

Once they were done Clopin took a small leather bound book out of his bag and handed it to the sleepy Harley. "I bought this for you, so then you could keep track of the days and our journey." Harley was so happy she tackled Clopin to the ground almost screaming thank you.

"Lets go to bed." He said putting out the fire.

Ok I know I suck for not updating sooner I'm so sorry there's just so much going on! Any who Happy V day and no I do not mean September fifth. Please review!

I forgot that I finished this chapter!


	6. Problems with computer

Well I am sorry to have to say this but I have to put my stories on hold because my computer now has virus' on it and I'm going to have to erase every thing when I get the money. I will still be posting when I can but other than that don't expect a whole lot of updating. So sorry.


	7. On the way

Another chapter yay.

Nothing is mine but the story line

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and I just made a ryme.

Day two entry one.

Its our second day out on the road and Clopin is singing my head off. I could write more but he keeps asking where and who made my pen which I luckily found in my bag by the way. I can't really tell you what he's thinking only god knows.

Harley closed her journal and put it away while Clopin watched. "You haven't written much with your strange quill. Why don't you draw some thing or write a song then sing it?" Harley gave him a questionable look. "Why do you want me to sing suddenly?" She asked swinging her feet back and forth.

"Well with such a pretty face you'll have to have a pretty voice." Clopin said making Harley giggle a little. "If you really want to hear me sing then I'll just sing from memory." She replied smiling feeling that it would be smarter to do that instead of writing it down where it would be dangerous for the future.

"A thief in the night to come and grab you. It can keep up inside you and consume you. A desease of the mind it can control you. Its too close for comfort." She sang the rest of the song mindlessly while Clopin stared at her. Harley stopped close to the end. "What? Did I do bad?" She asked nervously shrinking.

"No, no, you did very well but what is that song?" Clopin asked looking towards the road. Harley giggled since the song was about mental illness. "Its called disturbia. Its a mental illness that controls you. Thats what the lyrics mean." Clopin shook his head but smiled all the same.

Meanwhile At the bat cave

"So what you're saying is that Puck is the cause of Dr. Quinzeels mental promblems?" Elisa asked over her computer cam. "Yes. Do you think you could get more information about Puck and possibly locate him?" Batman asked emotionless.

"Yes I'll have to ask my friends if they can get him for you. I'll go and see them tonight so we will discuss it. Good luck on your part Batman." Elisa said before hanging up. "You too." He said turning to Robin and Batwoman. Robin talked first. "What does she mean good luck on our part?"

"What it means Robin is that we're going to have to make a chemical that will create insanity so Harley Quinzel can be free if she gets back." Batman finished taking a drink of his coffee. "What!" Both Batwoman and Robin asked standing up from their chairs.

"Yes we're going to help Harley Quinzel. Robin do you remember when you were entranced by Ivy and against all better judgment you went to her all the same. Its no different with Harley but she's under a higher power than chemicals. I helped you and you lived so why shouldn't we do the same for Harley?" He asked standing up.

"Thats true Batman but how are we going to help Harley?" Robin asked shifting his weight to his other foot. "Robin you will have to get the security tapes from Arkam. At least all the ones that have Harley in them. I will have to stay here and wait for Elisa to call back on the cam. Batwoman do you think you can go and talk to Ivy about Harley?"

Batwoman was about to say 'hell no' but Bruce continued. "We need Ivy so don't bust down the door and do not forget to wear the mask." Batwoman nodded then left with Robin from the Bat cave.

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Harley sneezed going over a bump in the caravan. "God bless you." Clopin said smiling then continued his delightful song. Harley giggled. "Did you know that the Japanese believe that if you sneeze then some one is talking about you?"

Clopin smiled shaking his head. "Do they? How strange." There was a comfortable silence in between them while the ride continued.

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Mean while in Ivy's hide out.

Ivy was fuming while she watered the plants in her green house. "Damn him!" She screamed throwing the metal watering can at a wall then sat herself down by a giant tree. The tree responded by wrapping one of its vines around her waist and hugged her.

She stoked the tree's vine. "I know baby I miss her too." Ivy said while a male voice floated into the room. "So is it me or are you crazy?" Ivy snapped her head towards the elf known as Puck then stood up, taking long strides towards the hansom figure.

Poking her index finger into his chest she let off some insults. "You asshole! How could you help the joker into tricking Harley! She's the sweetest girl I know and you helped him trick her! I could rip your heart out right now! What do you want!"

Puck was floating in the air most likely ignoring every thing that Ivy just said. "Well if you're done insulting me I can tell you some thing that my ease you're nerves. That is if you say sorry." Puck said smiling while he landed gently on his feet only a foot away from Ivy.

Ivy closed her eye's and sighed. She knew what kind of game he was playing and had two options. One was to swallow her anger and apologize. The second option was to trap him with her plants then torture him for her own pleasure, but there was one simple problem with option two. Ivy was in a way out gunned.

Looking up at him with her emerald eye's which burned themselves into his mind she spoke slowly. "Forgive me Puck,...I am just upset, that's all." Puck smiled then walked over to the tree that was comforting Ivy only moments before. "I find it interesting that you talk to your plants, unlike most humans they keep them like pets, but not you. You treat them as if they were your family, any reason to that?" Puck asked while the tree's vine whipped at him but he dodged it easily.

"Easy, plants don't destroy the world and humans do." Ivy stated while hushing her tree and telling it to calm down. "Well I know that's not the true reason but I will let that suffice for now." Silence came in between them. "Well?" Ivy asked irritated and walking back towards Puck.

"Oh yes, the words to ease your mind. She was meant to go back." He said while Ivy went to throw a punch at him but missed. "That is no excuse!" She yelled while Puck tackled her to the ground playfully. "Get off me!" Ivy yelled struggling with him.

Puck laughed a little. "You will see once they get back Ivy. Which by the way will be any day now. Course that is up to you. If you're nice to me you'll see them sooner if not then later." Ivy stopped struggling. "Shit head." She said while he got off of her then helped her up.

"Well that adds on another day. I will see you soon Ivy, I have some business to attend too with Joker." Puck said then bowed before he disappeared. As if on cue there was a knock at Ivy's door.

She sighed and started to walk towards it. "I swear if its the Penguin, Joker, or even the Riddler I'm kicking their ass." Ivy stated then opened up the door to see Batwoman with a gas mask on with her hands up.

Ivy rubbed her temples and stepped back. "What is this fucking topsy turvy day or what! WHAT DO YOU WANT!" Ivy almost screamed as Batwoman stepped forward. "Just to talk,... Please just listen what I have to say." Batwoman said which irritated Ivy even more.

"Yep its a for sure thing I'm freaking nuts, wont you come in?" Ivy asked stepping aside as Batwoman walked in. "Uh nice place you have." Batwoman said not knowing how to start a civil conversation. "Just get on with it, I'm having a bad week." Ivy said motioning for Batwoman to follow her into the kitchen.

Batwoman sat down in one of the blue chairs while Ivy put on some tea. "So whats this about and you can take off the gas mask. My garden does need clean air to grow." Ivy said sitting across from Batwoman. Batwoman sighed and removed her gas mask to breath in fresh air.

"I'm here to talk about Harley." Batwoman said setting her mask on the table as Ivy perked up a little at Harley's name. "Really? How do you know whats going on?" She asked getting up to pour the tea while Batwoman began to talk.

"Well I've been spying on you. The original plan was to follow you to Jokers hid out so we could see where he hid the time machine, but instead we found out that Harley was missing all because of Puck." Batwoman said taking the tea from Ivy.

Ivy sat back down and sipped on her tea which was Batwomans signal to continue on talking. "But we also found out that Harley never knew what she was doing so now we are going to help her. Batman, Robin, and myself. So that means we all are going to have to be on a civil understanding. Also if you help Harley and yourself will be pardoned."

Batwoman sighed than took a big drink of her tea while Ivy spewed hers out of her mouth. "What? Why are you giving us a pardon! Not that I'm ungrateful or any thing but it just confuses me." Ivy said staring at Batwoman. "Well you'd be doing a public service in helping us put Joker behind bars and we can, I can't believe I'm saying this. We can also make it seem that Puck also influenced you as well just for fun."

"Thats the thing. I have to be nice to Puck in order to get Harley back. Before you came here I had a little talk with Puck and he said it all happened for a reason. If any thing at least give Harley her pardon when she gets back and I'll work on my famous heart melts perfume. If I can change some of the chemicals in it then it should be able to work on women and give them the same effect as it has on women. At least then we'll have some sort of proof in court." Ivy started to rub her temples.

"So Puck has control of this and are you sure you'll be able to do that with out a proper lab?" Batwoman asked looking around the over grown green house. "Of course I could do that. After all every thing I need is right here. Puck is in control of this some how, after all it was his magic that started this crazy mess. I just want my best friend back, even if she wont be the same." Ivy said sadly looking into her tea.

Batwoman felt her pain about losing a best friend, but the real sad thing was that Ivy had to play a game in order to get hers back. "Well I'll just give you this, if you need the help just press on the middle of this screen and you'll be connected to Batman, Robin, or myself." Batwoman said finishing her tea then getting up to leave.

"Thank you." She heard Ivy say before closing the door to the house and putting her mask upon her face. So much was going through Batwomans head as she rode back to the bat cave on Robins motorcycle.

I finally got my computer fixed and I hit some bad spots on the way in my life but I'm good to go and write. I was thinking of doing a Kim Possible and Gargoyles cross over what do you think?


End file.
